roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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