oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
