I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
