Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
