if you like me you must not know who I am
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
