He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
