he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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