Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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