when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
