drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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