Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
