I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize