just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
