This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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