I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize