How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Just cropdusted the office
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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