Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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