Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i dont even know how to be here
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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