I faked an abortion last night.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
