OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
