I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
