so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
