Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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