maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
