Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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