Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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