addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
