super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
