the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
