Banned from zoo.
Again?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize