he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
