the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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