He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
