I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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