She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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