How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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