did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
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