Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Boobs speak an international language.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
