So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize