1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
