on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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