Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
