It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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