3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
