that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
