I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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