I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
