Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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