Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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