i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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