its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
