I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
we made out on top of his cat.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
this hospital has no fireball
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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