She's JV to your varsity
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she looked like the before picture.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
