so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
