She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize