We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
