The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize