We won't sleep together?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
