its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize