i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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