Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
