How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
