He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
