so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
