he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
