idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
