How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize