Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
