she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the day after is always just damage control
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's get the cat blown out
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
