Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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