I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
