The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
