ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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