I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
