he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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