I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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