I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
