Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
