It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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