so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
