i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
smell my finger.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
