How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I had to cum in my sink.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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